What do you expect in the process of the college or career choice for your child after high school? How will your child decide his or her future? How are your processes different from theirs?
There are challenges with independence and dependence in this stage, and it’s important to check in and manage the process in that context.
Chances are you and your child approach the same task in different ways.
Knowing how the other likes to solve problems can be very helpful to your success as a child-parent team. Effective, problem-solving as a team is an opportunity to move forward, together.
There is a pride that comes from working hard and achieving a goal. When you feel uneasy, ask yourself, “Is this a healthy risk?” “What is the worst thing that can happen if he fails?”
We’re sure you know that adolescence is an awkward and constant trade-off in determining when your child wants to be taken care of and when he has the desire to be independent. It feels like an awkward dance of letting go and holding on. When parents are able to recognize dependence versus independence, they can begin the process of guiding their child down the road of career path planning.
When a child is dependent, he will turn to you for help before considering whether he has the skills and abilities to handle it on his own. Sometimes he might avoid a task because he wants to dodge unpleasant stress or pressure. Other times he might bypass doing something because he lacks confidence in his abilities.
Healthy independence doesn’t mean that your student does everything by themselves, it means that they have an awareness of what they are capable of and when it’s time to seek some help.
By knowing your student’s strengths, you can rely on them in these areas. Consequently, when you know and accept your student’s weaknesses you can offer help in the areas where he lacks.